Well, it is official. We are now walking out of the forest of another week. This is Thursday, the day placed here to tease us about the fact that it is not quite Friday. In fact, have you ever woken up on Thursday thinking it was Friday? Isn’t it crushing and disheartening once you realize you are still two days away from the weekend? What is that all about?

But hell, it’s better than Wednesday, a day whose only purpose is to obstruct a smooth transition to the end of your week. In the highway of your week, in fact, Wednesday is the old lady in the Cadillac driving seven and a half miles an hour on the fast lane. It doesn’t stop you from moving, but it slows you down enough to make you wish your kids weren’t in the car so you could give her the finger.

Well, we are past Wednesday already, so feel free to look back and give it the finger. Just be careful, cause as it often happens, right as you give the old lady the finger you realize she’s your Pastor’s elderly mother. I’m not sure how this applies to Wednesday, but watch yourself’s all I’m saying. I once flipped my High School English teacher by mistake. Hey, it happens. Plus she assured me the radical and highly suspicious drop in my grade was entirely unrelated.

OK. I suppose you expect a bit of motivation for today. Let’s see what we have for you…

In this life one has to be proactive and aggressive. Don’t be afraid to go after the things you want most cause sure as hell no one is gonna hand them to you… Unless you’re Paris Hilton, in which case… you are not reading this anyway. The important thing to remember is that rejections are simply opportunities for you to dust yourself off, fix your hair and increase the amount of the bribe.

Also, remember boys, when it comes to relationships, the word ‘no’ is often too abstract to be taken at face value. “No” could simply mean, “not now” or “I’m not sure” or “I’m not drunk enough” or “my 300 pound boyfriend is standing behind you with a machete” or “if you come any closer I will castrate you with my nail file and make a wind chime out of your…well, the point is, don’t give up so easy. Women like assertive men, and besides, you will always be able to recognize the true and final answer in the form of a Restraining Order or a bullet heading your way.

08/27/2009