Well I don’t usually post anything on Sundays but something happened last night worthy of mention. I was on my way home after buying a pizza and some cheesy bread for the family when this guy just came out of nowhere and crossed the highway right in front of me. I mean, I came literally inches from running him over. It was dark, he was dressed in dark clothes and the fool was crossing illegally cause we were nowhere near an intersection. If I hadn’t swerved to the left I would have definitely hit him.

Can you imagine what that would have done to my brand new car? Big dent on the hood, busted headlight, blood splattered all over my windshield! I mean, that stuff is a bitch to clean! Hell at the speed I was going he would have bounced off the hood and probably crashed into my windshield which means, that’s right, broken windshield AND blood all over the seats and the carpets AND my pizza! Even worse to clean! That’s no even mentioning that, since I would have had to wait for a cop to arrive and remove the dead guy from my windshield, my pizza would have gotten cold! Man, who wants to eat cold pizza splattered in blood? It would have been a complete disaster! A tragedy of gigantic proportions!

Anyway, I managed to avoid it all so everything’s cool. My pizza is alright and so is my car, but what I’m saying is, watch yourselves out there, cause you never know when some moron will die too close to you and completely ruin your day.

Originally Published 09/06/2009