Why do people keep blogs? And while we’re at it, Why do people READ blogs? Is your life so interesting that half the world would want to read about it? I don’t know that mine is. For example… What did I do today? I woke up, got dressed, groomed myself just enough not to scare small children, brushed my teeth just so I wouldn’t kill the first person I greeted, repeated this entire process with my toddler and left for work. I had waffles for breakfast, rice and beans for lunch and a homemade cheeseburger with pretty much everything I could find on the fridge for lunch…umm… number two.
Anyway. I don’t eat dinner cause some doctor somewhere said it was bad for my weight and as if I gain anymore I will be living on two area codes at once. That might be an exaggeration, but you get the point.
Actually, my point is, if you were watching a movie and the first half hour consisted of a recap of what I did today, you would be fully justified to walk out of the theater, get your money back and try to drown the overwhelmingly depressing boredom in a bottle of Vodka… or maybe a Diet Coke… whatever.
Which leads us back to the original question. Why am I keeping a blog?
Maybe I sleep better at night knowing I made someone suffer today, although this could be much better accomplished by getting a job as a Middle School teacher. Ask my father about that one. Maybe I am just so full of myself I believe the most mundane of my activities must be fascinating to everyone else. I would like to think I am not that deluded, but it should not be discarded right away.
I have reached the conclusion that I made this blog because it is Tuesday.
What?
Yes. Allow me to explain.
Those of you who are unfortunate enough to be on my Facebook friend’s list know that I hate Mondays. I don’t hate them like you would hate the wrong brand of pantyhose or the latest Jonas Brothers song. I hate Mondays like you hate your sadistic, ignorant, idiotic boss that got his promotion by licking the CEO’s boots and taking credit for your brilliant ideas; like you hate the rich kid in school that drives around in a red Corvette and dates the entire cheer leading team even though he barely has enough intellect to walk on two legs and not drool on his satin shirt.
Yes, I hate Mondays.
I will gladly wipe them off the calendar and I have, in many occasions. I actually have calendars with the entire Monday column ripped off. I tore off one of Harry Potter’s arms once in a calendar just to get rid of Monday. It was the one holding the want too. If I’m on a Monday-killing spree, don’t get in the way, I will take you down.
But today is not Monday. It’s Tuesday! Not much better but an improvement nonetheless. And so, in my ecstasy of knowing that next Monday is a whole six days away, I decided to do something crazy and start a blog. So here it is. I will try to add something each day and if you’re foolish enough or bored enough to follow along, do so at your own risk.
Consider yourself warned.
08/26/2009